stpdbtch llc presents
stpdbtch*
booting the swarm…

stpdbtch*

Full-stack integrations and IT support — shipped by a swarm of AI agents that do not sleep, do not complain, and do not ask for Slack access they shouldn't have. Humans optional.

Deploy the swarm
Agentic Engineering — 000 / 004 Humans · Supervising
About stpdbtch

We'reanITshoprunbyasmallhumanteamandaverylargeswarmofAIagents.Theydothework.Wetakethecredit.

We wire your CRM to your billing to your support to your analytics to your AI. Our agents ship the integrations at 3am. Our humans sign off at 9am with coffee. Your tickets close before you finish typing them. When something breaks we blame the agents, when something works we take credit, and somehow it has been working out.

47
Agents deployed
18
Stacks unfucked
04
Humans (still employed)
agent-mira · frontend agent-null · backend agent-ash · devops agent-wren · qa agent-ozzy · on-call agent-lux · vibe removal
Services — 001 / 004 Stack · Toolkit
Agenticengineeringforteamswithabacklogandapulse.
Builtbyrobots.Blessedbycaffeine.

The swarm, rendered.

Live · 47 agents · 3 escalations pending

Live signal
— 01 /03

Agent swarm.

  • Ephemeral engineers spin up per ticket, ship, vanish.
  • Specialists: frontend, backend, DevOps, Bad-Vibes Removal.
  • Every patch diffed, reviewed, reversible. No mystery commits.
  • Humans on standby for the genuinely weird stuff.
Meet the agents
— 02 /03

Full-stack integration.

  • 140+ APIs pre-wired. Stripe to Salesforce to Slack, handled.
  • Webhooks with retries that don't ghost you at 3am.
  • SSO, RBAC, audit logs — the acronyms, accounted for.
  • Ships in hours. We cancelled sprint planning in 2023.
See the catalog
— 03 /03

IT support, rewritten.

  • LLM triager routes; agents resolve. Most tickets never see a human.
  • 24/7 uptime monitoring. We get paged. You do not.
  • Root-cause reports that are actually readable.
  • Average first-response: 11 seconds. Not a typo.
Open a ticket
Live feed — 002 / 004 Operations · last 24h

Ticketsresolvedwhileyouwerestilltyping.

Today's agent MVP
agent-mira
closed 31 tickets · 4 integrations shipped · 0 meetings attended
"Promoted her last week. She has not noticed."
— a human, probably
/ Inquiries

Let'sunfuckyourstack.

Send a ticket, a pitch, or a vague cry for help. An agent will reply first. A human will follow up if needed. Either way, someone is getting paid in electricity.

contact@stpdbtch.com
© 2026 stpdbtch llc · humans + agents · dsm / remote
No agents were harmed in the shipping of this site. A few were threatened.